“Yes, Mr. Smollett’s behavior does seem to warrant punishment,” his attorney said in a special hearing before a judge. “But you also have to consider the fact that he’s rich. Furthermore, he has money. And also, did I mention that he is absolutely loaded with cold, hard cash?”
“This concludes my arguments,” she said.
The attorney then pulled out a bag of money and tossed it in the general direction of Chicago’s finest judges and prosecutors, who made a mad dive for the cash while Smollett walked out a free man.
“We investigated the Jussie case and all we could find was these bags of cash,” a prosecutor on the case said, shrugging. “That’s enough exonerating evidence for us.”
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